"Tonite the bro bro @cjmiles34 & the jazz are gonna THELONIUS MONK the spurs"
• For the first time since the 1993-94 season the Jazz have a chance to sweep the Spurs. Utah has made a mockery of the Spurs this season but this game is in San Antonio and the Spurs are fielding their entire lineup. Also the Spurs are really good.
• The green uniforms are the jam. They are dope. I'm using words I've never used before to describe them.
• Boozer playing hard defense and owning the post. That's how he do. Jazz fans by and large hate this guy, but he's the best player on the team (without question)
• When my blog check comes in the mail I'm going to buy one of the green warmup jackets. So fly.
• We're five minutes in and the Spurs haven't earned a point.
• It bums me out that Lee can't watch this. He was worried that the Jazz would be nervous playing in front of Dick Vitale but it seems the like they're trying to show off for him and succeeding.
• The broadcast team has promised footage of Carlos Boozer doing impressions later. That sounds pretty great.
• I'm watching ESPN's broadcast instead of the local broadcast. I like getting a national perspective but I do miss Ron Boone's patented stammer.
• Making jokes about the French is a sports-talk cliche that I'll not stoop to, but I do want to point out that Tony Parker is what his people would call "les incompetant."
• Actually I don't know how much longer I can listen to Dick Vitale.
• "AK for Three!" is something I never want to hear, ever. But he makes it. Jazz are fired up tonight.
• Oh, Antonio McDyse is still alive. Good for him.
• I like the way the Jazz are playing but I would like to see them make that extra pass. I'll preach that 'til I die. MAKE THE EXTRA PASS.
• First commercial break. Jazz up 21-12
"Well Dick, it looks like the Spurs...
... have fallen off the horse."
• Poor Tim Duncan. He always looks so sad. What's wrong Tim? Do you want to talk about it?
• I'm pulling for Miles. I really want him to succeed. I just wish he was better. Also CJ, YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE EXTRA PASS!
• See, the fast offense worked in the opening minutes, but it's not the way the Jazz really know how to play. Eventually it's going to stop working, and that's when they need to adjust and slow it down. Or not even necessarily slow it down, but quit flying by the seat of their pants and execute the offense.
• End of first quarter. Jazz trail, Spurs looking awesome.
"Someone call Antares Audio Technologies, because the Jazz...
... need to be Autotuned."
• Richard Jefferson throws down a 180 dunk. I think he did that just so Vitale could say a bunch of nonsenses.
• Wow the Jazz are playing awful. They're trying to play as fast as the Spurs, but they just look like little kids trying to drive a car.
• Spurs can't miss. This is no longer a game, it's a slaughter.
• 33-22. Boozer takes a late-career Karl Malone fadeaway and makes it. Thanks goodness.
• The commentators are saying Boozer demanded a trade in the off-season. That's not even true. He just boneheadedly said that he'd like to play for other teams. Will we ever forgive him?
• I'm not sure I've ever seen a team play as well as the Spurs have in the last ten minutes. And I've been watching basketball for 47 years.
• If I'm the Jazz I'm getting pissed off right now. The Spurs are winning with style. They're not just beating the Jazz but they're making them look like fools, playing with the greatest of ease and showing flair at the same time. This is like watching a Globetrotters game. The Jazz should start a fight.
• The Jazz starting a fight thing is Lee's idea.
• Deron Williams is growing his beard until the Jazz win five in a row. This is the best thing that could happen to our team right now. The whole team should do it.
• Tony Parker is wearing a contraption called a "Strasburg Sock." That's sick.
• Tony Parker's dad is sitting next to a guy with a disturbing moustache.
• BOOZER! Left hand slam, standing menacingly over the corpse of his enemy. It was a virtual exact replay of this:
• Deron is doing some weird stuff in the lane. He had this bizarre back-handed flip that miraculously went in, and then an out-of-control pass to Boozer that I can't quite describe.
• Dick Vitale: "If there's one thing about the United States, it's that they know how to respond to countries in need."
• You know how in Toy Story, when humans are near Woody just collapses into an awkward heap, his limbs all askew? That same thing happens to AK when he gets the ball under the basket.
• Dick Vitale has thoughts on the All-Star game.
• Remember when Manu Ginobli won the Oscar for Life is Beautiful?
• 50-45 at the half.
"Looks like the Jazz...
... forgot the Alamo."
• Back from the half! Spurs have yet to score his half.
• I love how Boozer yells "Hey!" every time he goes for a board. It probably only works 1 time out of 20, but that 1 time could make all the difference.
• Something that won't show up in the box score: Memet Okur is running really hard tonight. I don't think it's making a difference, but I like to see the effort. Not that I question his effort, but I've never been impressed with his effort either y'know?
• Boozer with a cute little backward flip layup. Similar to what the Spurs did throughout the first half. He's using their own satellites against them.
• Duncan is poised to become the 35th player to score 20,000 points. When you think about it, that is impressive, but it's still hard to care about number 35.
• Deron is favoring his wrist. He's hangin' tough.
• Tied up!
• The national broadcasts always cover the same ground, talking about Stockton and Malone, maybe pointing out how many coaching changes there have been since Sloan took over. It bores me. They did however just mention that Sloan has only ever had one losing season. That's remarkable.
• These Wendy's spicy chicken nuggets commercials are so disturbing.
• Wow Deron is playing with a real chip on his shoulder. I don't know about this. I like the fire but he's missing shots and playing a little sloppy. The shoulder chip is dangerous. It can be a powerful ally but can just as easily corrupt your jump shot.
• I'm sensing a lot of frustration on both sides of the court. Maybe this will be the game where a fight happens.
• Remember when Manu Ginobli lived with his Cousin Larry?
• Okur tries a hook shot. THROW IT DOWN BIG MAN!
• Makes up for it with the money shot.
• Don't you think Okur should grow a big beard? And let his hair go long, and maybe smoke clove cigarettes during timeouts? Then they'd call him the Mad Turk. How cool would that be?
• Domino's new ad campaign: "Our pizza sucks! All this time you've been eating sucky izza! You're such a jerk!"
• By the way the new Domino's recipe is inferior to the way it used to be. I'm switching away permanently.
• Oh man, Jeff Van Gundy preening in front of the mirror in the Phoenix Gorilla costume. That's great.
• Nice end to the third quarter. Buzzer shot by Boozer, stiff rejection by Millsap, then a cross-court pass out of bounds, then a foul sending Ginobli to the line. I guess it was just an okay end.
• Jazz up 74-70
"I guess San Antonio...
... is more than just the cab driver from Wings."
• Ronnie Price with a fast break dunk and then takes a charge. Kid's got heart.
• Utah's lead is up to ten. They've really taken ownership of this game.
• We've not AK doing a Dick Vitale impression, in Russian. Then Tony Parker in French. Weird. Enjoyable.
• Duncan called for an offensive foul. He looks sad and frightened. As usual. Wow, then a defensive foul on him. Might not make it to 20k.
• Aha! Vitale is talking about Popovich's emphasis on making the extra pass. I told you that's the key to success!
• I gotta admit, I've been impressed with AK tonight. Seems like he's been better every game ever since he came back into the starting line-up.
• Every year, no matter what AK is doing, the pundits say that he needs to do the opposite. As in, "AK is stronger off the bench." Then next season, "AK needs to be in the starting lineup. THAT'S the secret!"
• Both of these teams are being all they can be tonight. Great game.
• The Kobe/Lebron puppet commercials have lost their charm.
• Three minutes left, Jazz up by five. It's close.
• Duncan limited to 12 points tonight. Foul trouble has certainly contributed to that, but how much of it is Carlos "Lazy Never Plays Defense Trade Him" Boozer's defense?
• Big jumper from Boozer, Jazz up by 7, approaching the final minute!
• Deron, ten assists and zero turnovers. Carlos, 29 points, AK 26 points.
• AK airballs a three and Boozer commits a foul. BUCKLE UP!
• Deron to Boozer under the basket total chaos! Duncan has fouled out. Roast. 19,999 points.
• Five point lead with thirty seconds. Boozer pulls down a commanding rebound and we go to the foul game with sixteen seconds left. I am confident of a victory.
• Spurs haven't been swept since 1997-1998. Wow.
• No matter what happens, between sweeping the Spurs and "The Shot" this has got to be one of the more satisfying seasons to be a Jazz fan.
• Victory! Nice. Very nice. I love it.
"19,999? I guess for Duncan...
... it wasn't time to make the donuts."