27 February 2009

I swear I stumbled across this innocently



Me: "Shania Twain in a Jazz jersey."

B: "ak-47 no less."
Knth: "<3 <3 <3 <3"
Nathaniel: "i wonder if it is for PR or if she really likes them. i figure like 70% of her fans live in/around utah."

26 February 2009

jazz players that i have seen at the cottonwood mall

- Mike Brown, on a payphone.
- Jay Humphries, buying a corn dog.
- Olden Polynice, hugging an attractive mail carrier.
- Jeff Hornacek, pushing a stroller.
- Darrel Griffith, walking swiftly.
- Shawn Bradley, in the bathroom. I know he's not a Jazz player but seeing a giant standing at a urinal is kind of funny.

Gabe Muoneke

Remember Gabe Muoneke? He spent some time on a few Jazz Rocky Mountain Revue teams and this offseason attended Jazz training camp.

Anyway, at HoopsHype.com, he has been writing a blog for about 15 months. It is infrequently updated and sometimes is a little bit too much like Paul Shirley, but it contains some special moments. He also throws some respect to Jerry Sloan and the Jazz players. There may have even been a time where he declared his love for Sloan.

Here's his Jazz praise:
Unfortunately for me, my plan of signing early in Europe didn’t work out and after NBA cuts all Euro jobs are filled. Sorry, I wasn’t passing up a vet camp with Jerry Sloan for anything. So if I had to do it again, I would. Yes, I knew they had 15 contracts before I went and didn’t care. I went there for longer-lasting reasons. The Chinese say the journey is the reward. I say, that’s if you survive the journey.
and this from a blog titled, Obama in 2008, Sloan in 2012:
Let’s see, I went from France, to San Antonio where the Spurs were working out, to vet camp with the Jazz. OK. It’s official. I love Jerry Sloan. Other than losing more weight than Jimmy Hoffa (Get it?…weight. Waaaayyyyeeet-tuh! Forget it), that was the second funniest camp I’ve been to. Smelled like Detroit 2002. Which leads me to predict the Jazz in the Western Conference Finals this year.

That was the first NBA team I’ve been on in which every player was (in my view) earning his check. What does that mean? Sorry. Wasn’t meant to be. Maybe better put… The Utah Jazz’s hierarchy or players and pay is almost perfect (I think we’d all agree Paul Milsap is tad bit underpaid… for now). And every player on that team is just flat out good. It’s always good when your highest paid players are the best respectively in every basketball (team) category.

Deron Williams is their best defender. And he shows it everyday.

Carlos Boozer is the hardest worker, which in turn equals most efficient player and best rebounder. Check his FG%. I have never checked nor do I know how I’d begin to, but I’m willing to bet he’s top five in the league in points/shot attempts. Even though he made me miss for the first time in a year being 260, he’s the Wolverine of that team. The best there is at what he does. I’m still spitting out chips of teeth… I am very serious.

Most professional had to be Memo. Same thing everyday. When everyone was tired after a hard day’s practice the day before, he was in the gym early lifting and starting practice drills off sprinting. Everyday.

And the last catergory… Best basketball pimp (I made that up; it means you’re just good at everything without really looking like you’re trying) AK 47. Hard to explain if you haven’t been to a game to see him in person. Just really good at everything. I think he may have nephthalim blood in him.

And last but definitely not least, most country. Oh you didn’t know being country is an intergral part of winning in basketball? It is. Cuz country folks are laid back. And them’re attritbutes keeps yuh cool when everyone else is hootin’ n’ hollerin’. Jerry Sloan. He was the same as he was three years ago when I was in summer league. He said, “Morning Gabe.” He laughed at my ramblings and even asked, “You alright,” every time anyone, not just his stars, got hurt. He’s either a great actor or a good man. Both of which only us country folk can really be. Without going into too much further detail, it was a pleasure being around good guys who just so happen to be good at basketball.

I experienced Jerry Sloan and thought, this is probably the same practice John Stockton and Karl Malone did and I’m doing it. The same ol’ same, ol’ and he keeps winning (even with Williams out). And I wonder: How the hell does he do it? Yes, great players. But it can’t just be the coincidence of great players. Sloan keeps winning and has even done it with less. Other NBA teams have great players and lose (very well, I might add). He doesn’t change no matter what firestorm is going on around him and still manages to be human. So the next ref that T’s him, I don’t care how nice he talks to you, you’re mine. Even though I never want to coach or ever be in politics, I still want to learn the attribute I have seen in the past two months. I want to be a chameleon. Just like Jerry. And so far just like Obama.
I feel like I missed out on an opportunity to cheer loud for Muoneke. I won't make two mistakes, so I'm adding his blog to the links.

25 February 2009

Live blog: @ Minnesota (2/25/09)

- Jason Collins cut his hair. Now you can't tell the difference between he and Jarron. Except that Jason sometimes plays.
- Why do I hate Mike Miller so much? His game seems kind of cool. Is it the hair?
- It's nice to have Kyle Korver join in.
- Does Deron Williams sometimes disappear on the road?
- Minnesota might be one respectable point guard away from being kind of good.
- Which made you more sick, the way the Jazz started the first half or how the way they finished it?
- Nothing like a back-and-forth game in the 3rd quarter with the Timberwolves to remind me why the Jazz are only the 8th seed in the West.
- Not only is Kevin Love related to a Beach Boy, but a Beastie Boy made a documentary where Kevin Love was one of the main subjects.
- Better post All-star break tan: Okur or Korver? (or is it just my TV?)
- D-will has a bald spot on the top of his head and two more where his sideburns are supposed to be.
- Maybe white men can jump, but they can't conceal their bruises. I'm looking at your arm, Brian Cardinal.
- After three quarters, the Timberwolves are out-scoring the Jazz in the paint, 45-32. I know they're pesky, but COME ON.
- If you saw Boozer and Millsap walking down a scary street at night, who would you be more scared of? I think Millsap.
- If you were a girl, who would you be more attracted to, Boozer or Millsap? Yeah, totally Millsap.
- But, Boozer is the All-star.
- This will make 10 road wins for the Jazz.
- Name the three teams with the longest current winning streaks(coming into today). Jazz, Cavs and Rockets with five. Only the Jazz played tonight, which puts them in the lead on a 6-game roll. Remember when the Rockets won like 22 straight last year. If the Jazz went on a 22-game streak right now, they would be 51-23 by the time they next lost. Huh.

Ron Boone Quote #2

Boler: "It's the Ron Boone Fan Club."
Booner: "Scotty Tahatti (sp?). Did you know he asked Britney Spears out? She didn't say no, but she didn't say yes."

Ron Boone Quote #1

Boler talking about the Tyson Chandler trade getting rescinded
Booner: "You like pizza? Pizza and Diet Coke?"
Boler: "I looove pizza. Bring me some at half!"
(pause)
Boler: "Back to the trade...."