What time is it? Slam time. Uhhn.

If I made the dosh that Boozer makes, I would go to Cabo this weekend too. Have you ever been to Mexico? I was there a year ago this month, and my only beef with the place is the corrupt cops who tried to drain my savings and the unrelenting revenge that Montezuma exacted on my bowels. It's a pretty place. I bet Boozer will see even more amazing views of it than I saw, on account of him probably staying at one of those resort places with a huge entrance.

I mean, what is keeping me here? There are no Jazz games and the All-Star game is okay, I guess, but I can't remember the last time I watch a big portion of one them. Last year I watched True Hollywood Story: Mario Lopez and True Hollywood Story: The Kardashians during the game. By the way, Mario Lopez is a lame piece of junk. I think I watched a total of two minutes of the game. Baseball is the only All-Star game I can get into.

Will I watch tomorrow on account of Deron Williams playing? Maybe. It's Valentine's Day, and the game probably isn't worth even asking about. If me and my woman aren't doing anything, then I might tune in. But remember how disheartening it was when Malone and Stockton played in All-Star games? All the other players were like, "Yo, these here fellas is wiggity." I wonder if it would be even worse to see a Jazz play along with the shenanigans like Williams likely will.

I will be watching the Slam Dunk contest, though, and only a small fraction of the reason is it being sponsored by my favorite drink of the last six months, Sprite (I just remembered I left a full cup of it in the car last night--score). See, I don't like dunks most of the time. But when they're awesome, I love them, and I watch the Sprite contest knowing that maybe one or two slams will really rock me. I also tune in knowing that I might be left unrocked. But the rocking, or potential thereof, is worth the gamble.

I also hate all of the NBA players piled upon each other on the sidelines watching the dunk contest. To quote myself a few weeks ago:

Players should be banned from watching the Dunk Contest from the front row. They try to steal camera time from the actual dunkers by straight freaking after everything. You know, they put their clenched fist to their mouth as they smile, as if to say, "No he didn't." But he did, doofus. Not only did he, but almost anyone can do that dunk. Are you drunk? Stoned? LeBron James took this to the next level last year when he vowed to compete with Dwight Howard in the next dunk contest (this year's). To no one's surprise, he isn't in this year's contest.

Sprite should sponsor this blog. Don't even get me started on the flavor story of that liquid. I have a feeling that Nate Robinson is going to suck in the contest tonight, but it would be cool if he did a dunk called "Lymon" where he dresses in green and yellow, does a normal two-handed jam, then urinates on LeBron James.

We've been trying to keep track of the best dunks of the season by the Jazz. We will select a winner after the season. Let us know if we are missing any.

The dunks:











Here is one we forgot to post, probably due to the huge shadow of Sundiata Gaines.



More dunk stuff.
These are my two favorite dunks in the history of earth:

1.


2.


Vince Carter is the best dunker ever. No question about it.






Watch the Rex Chapman dunk at :20 and the Shawn Kemp dunk at 2:00


One of the most underrated dunks (because I hadn't even heard of it until last year):


Darrell Griffith's #35 would be the coolest Jazz uniform to own.


B would be disappointed if I left out this one:


My woman might be disappointed if I didn't include the Human Highlight Film:


In honor of the Olympics, this Canadian kid, Henry Bekkering can go off:

I read once that he was also a kicker on the football team.

Porn Starbury

This, from a SLAM article about Stephon Marbury by Casey Jacobsen is hilarious:

After a game in Madison Square Garden, I saw Steph talking to a very “peculiar” looking girl. When we sat down on the plane that night (Steph sat right in front of me), I asked him who she was. He said it was a friend of his and that she happened to be a successful “adult film actress.” He then reached into his bag and showed me an autographed copy of her latest DVD project. “You want to watch it?” he asked me with a big smile on his face. “No thanks…. I’m good.” Then he put it on his computer and started watching it, as if it were just another episode of 24. That’s the only time I’ve ever seen that on a team flight.

In other news, it looks like the Jazz will be changing their uniforms and going back to the "note" as the full-time logo. I kind of wish they would just keep these green and golds. The word "updated", when used with uniforms, makes me kind of barfy.

Hopefully, the Jazz take heed to this (from the article) and don't update things too much:

There is a belief in the organization that the music note better identifies the Jazz brand than the mountain logo.

The green and yellow throwbacks have been well received, Rigby said, and the Jazz have a 6-1 record in them.

"I've been really impressed with the response that we're getting from the young fans of how much they really enjoy the throwback and the whole look," Rigby said. "The players have enjoyed it, the fans have enjoyed it. There seems to be a real interest in this market for looking at that."

Rigby added that late Jazz owner Larry Miller was a fan of the music note from a tradition standpoint.

Should they return to their old logo, the Jazz would become the second NBA team to do so in as many seasons. The Philadelphia 76ers this season brought back the familiar red, white and blue colors and logo from their championship past.

"We were seeing a lot more of the retro gear before we made the change," said Lara Price, the Sixers' vice president of business operations, "and then we started doing some surveys and the fan feedback was they loved that old logo and they wanted to go back.

"We got an overwhelming response that they loved us going back to our old logo. Our season-ticket holders and our fan base were very happy about it."

The Sixers have enjoyed an increase in merchandise sales, Price added, even during a 16-31 season. She said the team had to begin alerting retailers and phasing out merchandise about a year and a half in advance of the logo change.

How did I miss this dunk?



Players whose pride Boozer has murdered this season: Udonis Haslem, DeJuan Blair.

I hope this doesn't jinx the Jazz.

Over the last two-and-a-half weeks, the Jazz have become a completely different team. Everybody knows that, but do they realized that this is the best the team has played since the Malone-from-Stockton days?

What changed? Well, it was Carlos Boozer.

Now, this blog has been on Team BoozBooz since we started, but we can't say, "We told you so." See, as much as I have thought Boozer is the best player on the team--or at least the most irreplaceable--I never envisioned he would play like this.

Remember that weird loss to the Hornets on 4 January? It seemed like an extremely low point. Deron Williams sat out the next game vs. Memphis, and the Jazz straight rolled the Grizzlies in the ESA. (I usually don't like abbreviations, but I heard that Energy Solutions doesn't like when The Arena is called "ESA". I don't like stupid stadium/arena/ballpark names, and therefor I am going to write it ESA. Verbally I think I will switch to "The Arena" since "The Larry" has never caught on.)

After the huge win, Boozer made reference to the Jazz playing better when the ball moves around on offense. He said it was more fun or something.

Jazz fans recalled the win at the 76ers and the near win at Cleveland when Williams was out, and added the Grizzlies game. They started to wonder, "Are the Jazz better without Deron Williams?"

Boozer must have heard this, or at least heard tell of it. Two days after the huge Grizzlies win at ESA, the Jazz next played the Grizzlies in Memphis, again without Williams. They lost, and fans backed away from the better-without-Williams dialogue. Our one reader (besides this new pizza guy) commented here, "I've worried if Williams might qualify for Bill Simmons' Ewing Theory, but then there was last night's game... I'm not sure if I feel better about life or not."

But there was beauty in that game. First, the Jazz slowly came back from a 33-14 1st-quarter deficit. Second, they did it playing physical. So physical, that Boozer got in a bit of a fight after he knocked a Grizzlies player down hard. Then, he kept fouling them hard. I think he was the one who made Marc Gasol cry.

Boozer and Williams seem to have too much respect for certain well-known players (ex. Williams' terrible performances against Derek Fisher in the playoffs). They tend to be too nice, not wanting to become controversial. Plus, Williams worries that nobody will spaz over dunks at the Dunk Contest with him should he ever make it to an All-Star game*.

Bu no more. That Grizzlies loss becamse known as Boozer's Rampage. Look at B's Twits after the game:

-Boozer is on a rampage! He's dismantling the Grizzlies. #utahjazz
8:34 PM
Jan 8th from Twitterrific

-Carlos Boozer has fouled out and is trashing
the locker room. #utahjazz
8:39 PM Jan 8th from Twitterrific

-Boozer
has been escorted out of the building and is in the parking lot eating tires.
#utahjazz
8:41 PM Jan 8th from Twitterrific

-Boozer has broken the
hot wing record at D'Bo's. Forty-nine wings in forty-nine seconds. With the
hottest sauce. #utahjazz
8:51 PM Jan 8th from Twitterrific

-Carlos
Boozer just stole Elvis's gold Rolls Royce and crashed it into the Pink Palace.
#utahjazz
9:08 PM Jan 8th from Twitterrific

-Carlos Boozer has
kicked down Marc Gasol's door, is trying on all his shirts and stretching out
the collars. #utahjazz
9:48 PM Jan 8th from Twitterrific

(by the way, if you do a search for #Boozer, you get a lot of Twits from this gal. I should have known. [The cat is keeping her ass warm])
He was just getting started. Now, the rest of the team was going to join him. The next game they played was against the Heat at ESA. Dizzwaynye Wade got knocked around in the first quarter, and had to go the the locker room for a few minutes. Coming back offered him no respite. Almost every time he drove the lane, and Jazz or two would bump him.

Then there was Boozer's dunk on Haslem. Instead of screaming and heading back downcourt, Boozer was kind of a jerk and stood over Haslem. I usually hate this, but it showed the new Boozer.



A few days later was a game against the Cavaliers. Williams got into the act of playing hardcore. He had a run-in with LeBron James, and seemed legitimately pissed at LeBron, not just this-game-is-so-intense-and-I-am-so-intense-case-in-point-I-just-made-an-awesome-play-but-I-am-scowling pissed. (I call this kind of look "Happiness by LeBron James"). We all know how that game finished.

The Jazz are different. Yes they lost to Denver, but they kept coming back from deficits. Then they beat the Spurs. Then they killed the already dead Nets. Which was maybe taking things too far, but don't worry, the Nets couldn't feel it.

It all seems like Boozer stepped up and took on a different role. Maybe it was because he heard Jazz fans talking bad about what appeared to be a golden cow (D. Williams), or maybe he believed it himself that the Jazz don't really need Williams. Whatever it is, this has become Boozer's Team. Watch the way he plays and the way he kind of encourages teammates. Then take notes of the comments he made about how he wouldn't trade himself, or anybody, if he were the Jazz.

Yep, Boozer is finally becoming a Power Forward/man. Either that, or Sundiata Gaines' arrival is what has made all the difference. It does coincide with all of this.

*=Players should be banned from watching the Dunk Contest from the front row. They try to steal camera time from the actual dunkers by straight freaking after everything. You know, they put their clenched fist to their mouth as they smile, as if to say, "No he didn't." But he did, doofus. Not only did he, but almost anyone can do that dunk. Are you drunk? Stoned? LeBron James took this to the next level last year when he vowed to compete with Dwight Howard in the next dunk contest (this year's). To no one's surprise, he isn't in this year's contest.

Dunk of the Year----->Sloan Hands

This is probably Williams' best dunk. He can now stop dunking. Please stop dunking, D-Will.

Also, big (er, huge) high five to my friend Kendo's blog, Sloan Hands, which got linked by Bill Simmons on Twitter yesterday.